Day 5: Kayaking for dolphins, Luauing for pigs

What makes a man wake up at 5:35 am while on vacation, head out while it’s still dark and paddle around in the ocean in a kayak even before he’s fully awake? Dolphins. Apparently, right after sunrise is a great time to see dolphins do whatever it is dolphins do – which shall remain a mystery to me, because unfortunately, we didn’t see any dolphins. So long and thanks for all the nothing, dolphins! However, we did see whales. There’s something about a humpback whale spouting off a jet of water a hundred yards from you that sends excitement and joy coursing through you. The ocean swells were higher than usual (often higher than our heads), making it harder to spot and follow the pod. But the sight of those enormous tail flippers swooping elegantly through the air before disappearing under water will remain with me (thanks in no small part to this blog which serves as a crutch for my abysmal memory).

Friday evening was luau time for us – a much-awaited occasion to sample (read: binge upon) vast quantities of island chow. The venue: Royal Kona Resort just off of Ali’I Drive, by the ocean side. Now, the first rule of Luau Club is – there will be lines. A line to get in, a line for the bar, a line for the food. You’ll also notice that there’s usually a way to circumvent at least some of those lines – a prepaid voucher will get you into the place without too much of a wait and having a reserved ‘travel company’ table will probably get you a seat closer to the stage, and perhaps the buffet table. I’m not making this experience sound very appetizing now, am I? Well, it gets better. You see, when you bring together hula/fire dancers + a 130 lbs roast pig + an open bar, it more than makes up for any inconvenience :)

So once the live band picked up the pace and the dancers were on the stage (and SEVERAL mai tais had been imbibed), that luau definitely picked up.

The pig or pua’a is roasted in an underground oven called an ‘imu’ for several hours before the event. The meat is wrapped in banana leaves and chicken wire – the latter seems necessary because at the end of that precious pig’s subterranean simmering, the meat is so tender that it simply falls apart. Best damned pulled pork I’d ever had. Also, I thought the two dudes unearthing the pig were somehow appropriately intense-looking.

The hula dancing was enjoyable. No, there were no hula hoops involved. The dancers depicted tales from Hawaiian and Polynesian history and represented traditions from Samoa, Tahiti and of course, the Hawaiian islands themselves. A word about how good-looking these dancer-folk were. The sight of those chiseled, impeccably sculpted Hawaiian/Samoan men made me want to put down my fork, stop stuffing myself, and see if my gym would let me back in. The sight of the hula dancing women made me want to cancel that last thought and just take one of them home instead. Yeah. Wait. I mentioned there were several mai tais, yeah? Okay, good. The most impressive part of the show however, was its finale – fire dancing. A very gifted chap spinning two torches which were lit at both ends, creating bright blazing circles against the night sky everywhere he moved. Quite impressive.

If I weren’t so incapacitated by my err.. modest dinner, I might have taken some more pictures. Favourite foods:
Poke (po-keh) - Diced cubes of raw, fresh fish (probably ahi), marinated in sesame oil, onions, spices. Surprising and delightful. I miss this already.
Ono fish - finally. Takes on the flavour of the marinade so well. Btw, 'ono' is also the Hawaiian word for 'tasty'. How apropo.
Lomilomi salmon - Diced tomatoes, onions and salmon come together to form something delicious that resembles Maharashtrian koshimbir. Shocking, yeah. But yummy.

What I did not like (Yes, it's true. There are certain food items in this world that I do not love.): Poi. Put simply, this is taro paste. And I do not get the point of it. Feels like industrial adhesive that somehow made its way to a buffet table.